A Tribute To Lando Calrissian

I am in a weird, horrible, funny, irritated mood for so many reasons. It's one of those moods that makes you slaphappy, then rage, giggle, then throw something. You get it, right? Great, I know you've been there too! It's days like this that call for a beer review. No, not just any beer review though, no siree! This calls for a tribute to Lando Calrissian! A review, of Colt 45!

APPEARANCE: This pours pee yellow. That good dark yellow that borders orange, like the morning after you binge drank four forties of the stuff and then passed out.

AROMA: A noticeable corny, malty smell with a noticeable alcohol note present.

FLAVOR: Malty, corny, and an almost noticeable alcohol note.

MOUTH FEEL: Definitely a fuller flavor beer, mostly the flavor that I would imagine you’d get out of making beer with creamed corn. Thick and creamy mouth feel, definitely not lacking in carbonation, and a slightly recognizable heat (of alcohol) especially when this becomes warm.

NOTES: First off, no matter what anyone tells you, the only correct way to drink this is out of a 40oz clear glass bottle, placed in a paper bag. The bag is there to (1) hide the fact that you are drinking Colt 45 from others, and (2) hide the fact from yourself that you are drinking Colt 45. The less you are reminded that this is what you are drinking the better. The beer was meant for one reason only, to get hammered. “Colt 45, works every time.” Yeah, Billy Dee, so do rufies (see: rohypnol), but I wouldn’t condone those either. At 6.1% ABV it can only be a session beer for the nights when you want to be picked up off the floor drunk. Yet this classic still has it’s place when you just want to get cranked.