Coming Clean About My Infidelity

I think I might be in the doghouse a bit. It’s a problem I probably wouldn’t normally speak of like this, I mean on a blog and in quite so public a forum, but I’m really in a quandary. You see, my lady found out I was cheating. Well, I don’t know that she “found out” as much as it was an educated guess on her part. Apparently there were some pretty blatant signs I was unknowingly throwing out, and had no idea. Maybe that was for the better, I just hope I can be forgiven.

I guess it started about eight months ago. I started coming home from work and was right out the door as fast as I could change. She would sit, alone and neglected. I’d roll in as the sun fell, take a quick shower, then off to bed. Wake up, off to work, and the day repeats itself. It was still cold outside, not much she and I could do together, so no real thought went into it.

As the weather broke, however, you could see a change. It got nicer out, and she felt increasingly more forsaken. I can’t say why she wasn’t good enough; I guess maybe I just wanted a change. Maybe I just got spoiled at how well I really had it. Maybe I took her for granted. All I knew is my girlfriend was making me believe I was happy, but I know I truly wasn’t.

Fast forward to present day. It was the weekend, and she finally had the courage to call me out. I looked over at her. I could see it as she sat there in front of the window, leaning against the wall. I could see she felt cheep, used, in need of something I clearly had not been giving her for a while. I don’t know, maybe it was just something different that caught my attention. Maybe I just wasn’t sensitive to her needs. Maybe I’m just that typical guy who can’t commit to one woman.

As I sat there and felt bad for neglecting her, and in the same thought I was thinking about a third girl that I saw. I was out for the day, just shopping around and ran into her. Now I have my first love, the girlfriend, and a third that I simply cannot get out of my head. What the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy with one woman? Can anyone help?

I need to get out on the road bike again, before it’s too cold and too late.