05 February 2009
Cycling Phun Phake News
Italy
The cycling world was rocked today by the announcement that Campagnolo will once again put it's competition to shame by introducing the worlds first and only 22-speed groupset! The set, due out in late 2009 for the 2010 season is rumored to be called the Campagnolo Über Super Record Compe Plus Carbone.
Campy has redesigned every bit of the transmission for the 2010 group from the levers, front and rear derailleurs, chain, cassette and crankset. Engineers from Campagnolo said, "This had to be done. once we found out that we could not make the hub twenty two inches wide to fit the likes of the 11-speed chain, we knew we had to cut something down somewhere." They continued, "This lead to the realization that the cassette would need to contain near paper thin sprockets, and the chain thickness would need to be roughly that of one side of an average link."
The new cassette, which only comes in one size 9-30, is just that. The small ring is a 9, which builds to a granny gear of 30. The chain is just under a miraculous 1/16" and resembles that of a cheep bracelet. When asked how these components will hold up under the pressure of rides like the Tour de France Campy engineers had no comment, though reporters did vaguely make out one engineer mumble, "I told you we should've tested this thing before announcing it..." in Italian.
More information is sure to follow, but rumor-mills are saying we are likely to see the 22 speed on pro bike as soon as the TdF.
Showing posts with label Cycling Phun Phake News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cycling Phun Phake News. Show all posts
05 February 2009
25 September 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News: Armstrong ASTANAshes The World! (Wah Wah Wahhhhh)
25 September 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
First off let me start by saying I kill me, Astana-shes... heh heh heh.
Amid massive applause when announcing he would be coming out of retirement, Lance Armstrong confirmed Wednesday that he would be joining Kazakhstan's Astana for his competitive comeback. When news of this broke Borat, who was in the audience for the event, was quoted as saying, “niiiice.”
Armstrong said in a New York press conference that he will be starting with the Tour Down Under in Australia, and that he WILL BE competing in the 2009 Tour de France, a race that he has won seven times. He also pointed out interest in the Giro d'Italia.
Apparently Don Catlin, the anti-doping scientist, will run an independent monitoring program that Armstrong said will prove that he is not doping during his comeback attempt. Catlin pointed out that while a lot of guys know how to get around doping, so does he.
When asked if he will win number eight, Armstrong pointed out that he is old. OK, in his words, "Honestly, I don't know. I've been off the bike three years. … I'll be nearly 38 years old. … So I honestly don't know. I will try to be as prepared as possible. I don't know that that equals victory. ... I have a fair bit of confidence, but I don't have that kind of confidence, yet."
Armstrong also pointed out that, while he cannot control what Contador does, he thinks that Alberto Contador should consider staying with Astana. To which Contador was heard saying while pretending to cough from the back, “Bull sh__.” Armstrong looked around and then continued that there is room enough on the team for himself, Alberto, Levi Leipheimer and the “Let Levi Ride campaign. He pointed out that Contador is crazy fast right now, and quite possibly faster than Lance is right now.
Armstrong pointed out that if Astana is not invited to the Tour there’s not much that he could do since it’s there event and they get to pick who they want in. After that he was caught mumbling something about dating girls about half his age and riding something different, whatever that means.
Michael Bloomberg joined Armstrong on stage saying that he expected another tour victory, quipping, "What's so hard? It's like riding a bicycle."
Armstrong said that he will ride the Tour Down Under, the Tour de France and the Leadville Trail 100 (he joked that Leadville organizers don't know yet, and asked that the press not tell them). Armstrong said he hadn't ruled out riding the Giro d'Italia, but did note that 2009 will be the 100th Giro and that Italy is a country where the Livestrong campaign could have a great effect, not to mention he "also like(s) Italian food."
Rumors also abound that he will compete in Cross Vegas, just ask Wah, and that he will participate in some cross events this fall, but nothing solid was said about this. Nor was there anything said about whether he would continue beyond 2009. Lance pointed out is is possible, but reminded everyone, once again, that he was old.
**Some excerpts from VeloNews were used in the creation of this article
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
First off let me start by saying I kill me, Astana-shes... heh heh heh.
Amid massive applause when announcing he would be coming out of retirement, Lance Armstrong confirmed Wednesday that he would be joining Kazakhstan's Astana for his competitive comeback. When news of this broke Borat, who was in the audience for the event, was quoted as saying, “niiiice.”
Armstrong said in a New York press conference that he will be starting with the Tour Down Under in Australia, and that he WILL BE competing in the 2009 Tour de France, a race that he has won seven times. He also pointed out interest in the Giro d'Italia.
Apparently Don Catlin, the anti-doping scientist, will run an independent monitoring program that Armstrong said will prove that he is not doping during his comeback attempt. Catlin pointed out that while a lot of guys know how to get around doping, so does he.
When asked if he will win number eight, Armstrong pointed out that he is old. OK, in his words, "Honestly, I don't know. I've been off the bike three years. … I'll be nearly 38 years old. … So I honestly don't know. I will try to be as prepared as possible. I don't know that that equals victory. ... I have a fair bit of confidence, but I don't have that kind of confidence, yet."
Armstrong also pointed out that, while he cannot control what Contador does, he thinks that Alberto Contador should consider staying with Astana. To which Contador was heard saying while pretending to cough from the back, “Bull sh__.” Armstrong looked around and then continued that there is room enough on the team for himself, Alberto, Levi Leipheimer and the “Let Levi Ride campaign. He pointed out that Contador is crazy fast right now, and quite possibly faster than Lance is right now.
Armstrong pointed out that if Astana is not invited to the Tour there’s not much that he could do since it’s there event and they get to pick who they want in. After that he was caught mumbling something about dating girls about half his age and riding something different, whatever that means.
Michael Bloomberg joined Armstrong on stage saying that he expected another tour victory, quipping, "What's so hard? It's like riding a bicycle."
Armstrong said that he will ride the Tour Down Under, the Tour de France and the Leadville Trail 100 (he joked that Leadville organizers don't know yet, and asked that the press not tell them). Armstrong said he hadn't ruled out riding the Giro d'Italia, but did note that 2009 will be the 100th Giro and that Italy is a country where the Livestrong campaign could have a great effect, not to mention he "also like(s) Italian food."
Rumors also abound that he will compete in Cross Vegas, just ask Wah, and that he will participate in some cross events this fall, but nothing solid was said about this. Nor was there anything said about whether he would continue beyond 2009. Lance pointed out is is possible, but reminded everyone, once again, that he was old.
**Some excerpts from VeloNews were used in the creation of this article
07 August 2008
Cycling Phun News: Leadville 100
07 August 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
Cycling Phun SAG Wagon At Leadville
As many of you know this Saturday is the famous Leadville 100 Mountain Bike race. This years race will be graced by none other than the seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. You'd think that would be the big news, right? Not this year. The big news this year is the world premier of the Cycling Phun SAG Wagon. That's right folks Cycling Phun is officially sponsoring a SAG wagon. Don't know what a SAG wagon is? Neither did we, so we took a wild guess and viola! The Cycling Phun SAG Wagon: Service And Gelato! We figured, what the hell are you going to do whilst our service team is changing out a chain ring, or fixing your hydraulic discs? You could be enjoying homemade Gelato from none other than the world famous Gelateria de Parma Italia. This year they will be debuting an extra special Margarita Gelato especially for Fatty, they've heard he really loves the Margarita Shot Blox. We are also currently working out a deal to carry Carbo Rocket as well, but we have been unable to contact the Carbo Rocket representatives. OK, that's a lie, we just forgot to, but we do intend to... and our intentions are good. I promise.
So remember, when your out on the trails at the Leadville, keep an eye open for the CPSAGW (Cycling Phun SAG Wagon-CPSAGW is just so much more trendy... just decided that).
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
Cycling Phun SAG Wagon At Leadville
As many of you know this Saturday is the famous Leadville 100 Mountain Bike race. This years race will be graced by none other than the seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong. You'd think that would be the big news, right? Not this year. The big news this year is the world premier of the Cycling Phun SAG Wagon. That's right folks Cycling Phun is officially sponsoring a SAG wagon. Don't know what a SAG wagon is? Neither did we, so we took a wild guess and viola! The Cycling Phun SAG Wagon: Service And Gelato! We figured, what the hell are you going to do whilst our service team is changing out a chain ring, or fixing your hydraulic discs? You could be enjoying homemade Gelato from none other than the world famous Gelateria de Parma Italia. This year they will be debuting an extra special Margarita Gelato especially for Fatty, they've heard he really loves the Margarita Shot Blox. We are also currently working out a deal to carry Carbo Rocket as well, but we have been unable to contact the Carbo Rocket representatives. OK, that's a lie, we just forgot to, but we do intend to... and our intentions are good. I promise.
So remember, when your out on the trails at the Leadville, keep an eye open for the CPSAGW (Cycling Phun SAG Wagon-CPSAGW is just so much more trendy... just decided that).
14 July 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News: Tour de France Doping Scandal Edition
14-July-2008
Paris, France
Cycling Phun News Service
The Tour de France is apparently in an atrocious downhill slide of sorts after the chaos that ensued this weekend. As you’ve probably heard already Liquigas rider Manuel Beltran was met by French police, or Le Police for our French readers. A Liquigas Cycling team spokesman released the following statement:
"Manuel Beltran has tested positive once already for EPO and will not continue in the Tour due to this testing, however the rest of the team will continue the race. If he tests positive again, we will ask him where he got the banned substance from, and if he won’t talk we will result to tactics up to, but not including, water boarding to find out the information we desire to find out."
While this news has come as a total shock slightly more shocking news this morning as Tour Director, Christian Prudhomme was seen being escorted from an all-you-can-eat crêpe bar at his French hotel just before the start of this mornings tenth stage. It is still unsure what will happen to the Tour after this unbelievable event, but throughout this amazing glitch this mornings stage has gone off as planned and seemingly without a hitch. A spokesman for the Tour has stated:
“Look, it’s really quite simple. OK, so it’s not really that simple. I mean, it all started with the Landis doping allegations, then one by one they started looking into peoples past. After that they started looking at riders close friends, the friends of close friends, some people who were acquaintances of riders, a few people who had similar names to riders, people who riders may have mentioned by name-whether first or last name, and… OK, I guess it got a bit out of control. But the bottom line is this. Now that Bayer Aspirin is the ONLY legally sanctioned drug by the Tour, there had to be some casualties… some consequences, or so they tell me. If it were up to me I would at least reinstitute the use of Aspercream. Wait, where exactly was I going with that?”
At that point the spokesman left the stage almost in tears.
Stay tuned to Cycling Phun. We will have more details of this as they become available.
Paris, France
Cycling Phun News Service
The Tour de France is apparently in an atrocious downhill slide of sorts after the chaos that ensued this weekend. As you’ve probably heard already Liquigas rider Manuel Beltran was met by French police, or Le Police for our French readers. A Liquigas Cycling team spokesman released the following statement:
"Manuel Beltran has tested positive once already for EPO and will not continue in the Tour due to this testing, however the rest of the team will continue the race. If he tests positive again, we will ask him where he got the banned substance from, and if he won’t talk we will result to tactics up to, but not including, water boarding to find out the information we desire to find out."
While this news has come as a total shock slightly more shocking news this morning as Tour Director, Christian Prudhomme was seen being escorted from an all-you-can-eat crêpe bar at his French hotel just before the start of this mornings tenth stage. It is still unsure what will happen to the Tour after this unbelievable event, but throughout this amazing glitch this mornings stage has gone off as planned and seemingly without a hitch. A spokesman for the Tour has stated:
“Look, it’s really quite simple. OK, so it’s not really that simple. I mean, it all started with the Landis doping allegations, then one by one they started looking into peoples past. After that they started looking at riders close friends, the friends of close friends, some people who were acquaintances of riders, a few people who had similar names to riders, people who riders may have mentioned by name-whether first or last name, and… OK, I guess it got a bit out of control. But the bottom line is this. Now that Bayer Aspirin is the ONLY legally sanctioned drug by the Tour, there had to be some casualties… some consequences, or so they tell me. If it were up to me I would at least reinstitute the use of Aspercream. Wait, where exactly was I going with that?”
At that point the spokesman left the stage almost in tears.
Stay tuned to Cycling Phun. We will have more details of this as they become available.
04 February 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News: New Teams Edition
04 February 2008
Cycling Phun News Service
As many of you might know, and as reported 8/11/07, Slipstream and Chipotle have got together in sponsorship of a team this year. While one would think this would be a good thing, it’s not. For starters their teams weight gain has increased by a whopping 536%. Why just in the last week two of their riders broke their carbon bikes based on sheer weight. Apparently they have also had some IBS problems due to the insane amount of Tabasco consumption on the team (Please note, Chipotle only serves Tabasco. I prefer Cholula, just saying).
Other problems abound as there is not only continued rumors of Team Hardee’s “Powered By The Monster Burger”, but other rumors are now coming to light. The latest rumor being Team Jack and Diet “Powered by Jack Daniels and Diet Coke”. The rumors may have been substantiated by the following video of what's believed to be their training camp.
Cycling Phun News Service
As many of you might know, and as reported 8/11/07, Slipstream and Chipotle have got together in sponsorship of a team this year. While one would think this would be a good thing, it’s not. For starters their teams weight gain has increased by a whopping 536%. Why just in the last week two of their riders broke their carbon bikes based on sheer weight. Apparently they have also had some IBS problems due to the insane amount of Tabasco consumption on the team (Please note, Chipotle only serves Tabasco. I prefer Cholula, just saying).
Other problems abound as there is not only continued rumors of Team Hardee’s “Powered By The Monster Burger”, but other rumors are now coming to light. The latest rumor being Team Jack and Diet “Powered by Jack Daniels and Diet Coke”. The rumors may have been substantiated by the following video of what's believed to be their training camp.
So what will happen in 2008? It remains to be seen, but stay tuned and enjoy the ride.
15 January 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News: Specialized Product Announcement
15 January 2008
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
Today Specialized announced a breakthrough in bicycles, the first ever "Fo'ty Fo". That's right, 29's are now so 2008, so in order to keep up with the car industry (Subaru is about to release their redesigned 2009 Forester), Specialized is on the cusp of releasing the first ever 44" Mountain bike. While no pictures are currently available, rumor has it the "Specialized Fo'ty Fo' MTB" (as it is said to be called), will come only in chrome, gold plate, or platinum (for the real baller/shot caller). Prices are said to be starting at $4200, and it's said to be equipped "full out SRAM, sucka". A Specialized representative, who did not want to go on record, said:
"Sh__ yeah! This bike is gonna have more bling than Jay Z! What? It's going to be the Hummer of bikes. 29er's were PRIMO for rocks, and extremely toe up, rutted, and ridiculous trails. Imagine, if you will, how being on a 29er makes you feel like you're just floating on air! Not to mention is so hip, that even the most dopestist (his words, not mine) playa in school will cool!" I asked him, "by Hummer of bikes, do you mean it will be really cool now and suck in about three years?" To that he had no comment. Other rumors, which could not be confirmed at this time are: spinners, old school dice valve caps with diamonds as the dots, the head badge in a diamond stud option, bars wrapped in gator skin, and subwoofers in place of the seat bag, though the later is doubtful.
In an effort to "one better" the 2009 Subaru Forester (due out early spring 2008), they are set to release the 2010 Fo'ty Fo' MTB by March 2008. More on this as details become available.
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
Today Specialized announced a breakthrough in bicycles, the first ever "Fo'ty Fo". That's right, 29's are now so 2008, so in order to keep up with the car industry (Subaru is about to release their redesigned 2009 Forester), Specialized is on the cusp of releasing the first ever 44" Mountain bike. While no pictures are currently available, rumor has it the "Specialized Fo'ty Fo' MTB" (as it is said to be called), will come only in chrome, gold plate, or platinum (for the real baller/shot caller). Prices are said to be starting at $4200, and it's said to be equipped "full out SRAM, sucka". A Specialized representative, who did not want to go on record, said:
"Sh__ yeah! This bike is gonna have more bling than Jay Z! What? It's going to be the Hummer of bikes. 29er's were PRIMO for rocks, and extremely toe up, rutted, and ridiculous trails. Imagine, if you will, how being on a 29er makes you feel like you're just floating on air! Not to mention is so hip, that even the most dopestist (his words, not mine) playa in school will cool!" I asked him, "by Hummer of bikes, do you mean it will be really cool now and suck in about three years?" To that he had no comment. Other rumors, which could not be confirmed at this time are: spinners, old school dice valve caps with diamonds as the dots, the head badge in a diamond stud option, bars wrapped in gator skin, and subwoofers in place of the seat bag, though the later is doubtful.
In an effort to "one better" the 2009 Subaru Forester (due out early spring 2008), they are set to release the 2010 Fo'ty Fo' MTB by March 2008. More on this as details become available.
29 November 2007
Cycling Phun Phake News: Spin Lawsuit
29 November 2007
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
Public Notice:
Today let it be announced that the legal representation of Cycling Phun (the blog) will be filing suit by week end against the Spin Bike Shop. The lawsuit states that due to the title of Spin Bike Shops recent Cyclocross race, the Cross My Heart And Hope To Die Willoughby Cyclocross Spectacular (hereafter known as “CMHAHTDWCS”), the owner and editor of Cycling Phun (hereafter known as the “Phun Cyclist”) is currently suffering from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, brought on by the typing of the aforementioned title.
At time of press we were unable to obtain a comment from Spin Bike Shop. The Phun Cyclist said he would have no official comment at his time, he then blurted out the following:
“It hurts man, I mean really hurts. For God’s sake, it’s sixty-four freakin’ characters. Of, course that takes into account spaces, but SIXTY-FOUR! What the heck were they thinking? (mumbles heard under his breath) I mean, hell, it was a good title though… I’m a little jealous I didn’t think of it myself, I mean think of… Hey, are you guys still on the phone? Crap! (Disconnect)”
More on this story as it unfolds.
Cycling Phun Phake News Service
Public Notice:
Today let it be announced that the legal representation of Cycling Phun (the blog) will be filing suit by week end against the Spin Bike Shop. The lawsuit states that due to the title of Spin Bike Shops recent Cyclocross race, the Cross My Heart And Hope To Die Willoughby Cyclocross Spectacular (hereafter known as “CMHAHTDWCS”), the owner and editor of Cycling Phun (hereafter known as the “Phun Cyclist”) is currently suffering from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, brought on by the typing of the aforementioned title.
At time of press we were unable to obtain a comment from Spin Bike Shop. The Phun Cyclist said he would have no official comment at his time, he then blurted out the following:
“It hurts man, I mean really hurts. For God’s sake, it’s sixty-four freakin’ characters. Of, course that takes into account spaces, but SIXTY-FOUR! What the heck were they thinking? (mumbles heard under his breath) I mean, hell, it was a good title though… I’m a little jealous I didn’t think of it myself, I mean think of… Hey, are you guys still on the phone? Crap! (Disconnect)”
More on this story as it unfolds.
08 November 2007
Cycling Phun Phake News: Slipsteam/Chipotle Edition
08-11-2007
Cycling Phun News
Team Slipstream-Chipotle announced their 2008 team today. The team consists of such Tour de France greats as Magnus Bäckstedt, Julian Dean, David Millar, Christian Vande Velde and Dave Zabriskie. With a crew like that they felt there would be no problem securing victory in the 2008 season, and went so far as to think of them as “The American Racing Team” since the fall of Discovery. There was, however, one excruciating fatal flaw. What Slipstream-Chipotle did NOT take into account was the simple fact that they are Slipstream-Chipotle, and because of that each rider gained an average of 42.6 pounds. What started out as a killer team has fallen prey to the fat bombs that are the Chipotle Burrito. They went from the top riders in the world, to the heaviest individuals to ever lock into a pedal. When asked how much each rider currently weighs, American team manager Jonathan Vaughters said, “While I won’t comment on individual weight, I will say that the five key riders weigh in at a svelte 998 pounds.” When asked if he thought that was too heavy he replied, “Not at all, I mean, c’mon… That’s, like, under, I mean… It’s… well… It’s not even a thousand. Right?” At which point he yelled, “look, everyone! It’s Lance Armstrong!” Pointed to the back of the room and disappeared from the stage. We are currently trying to track Vaughters down, but as of this morning he was not returning our phone calls.
We, at Cycling Phun, are also looking into a recent rumor of “Team Hardee’s”. The last rumor that we heard on them is that their official riding food is the Hardee’s Monster Burger, and Diet Lime Coke.
Cycling Phun News
Team Slipstream-Chipotle announced their 2008 team today. The team consists of such Tour de France greats as Magnus Bäckstedt, Julian Dean, David Millar, Christian Vande Velde and Dave Zabriskie. With a crew like that they felt there would be no problem securing victory in the 2008 season, and went so far as to think of them as “The American Racing Team” since the fall of Discovery. There was, however, one excruciating fatal flaw. What Slipstream-Chipotle did NOT take into account was the simple fact that they are Slipstream-Chipotle, and because of that each rider gained an average of 42.6 pounds. What started out as a killer team has fallen prey to the fat bombs that are the Chipotle Burrito. They went from the top riders in the world, to the heaviest individuals to ever lock into a pedal. When asked how much each rider currently weighs, American team manager Jonathan Vaughters said, “While I won’t comment on individual weight, I will say that the five key riders weigh in at a svelte 998 pounds.” When asked if he thought that was too heavy he replied, “Not at all, I mean, c’mon… That’s, like, under, I mean… It’s… well… It’s not even a thousand. Right?” At which point he yelled, “look, everyone! It’s Lance Armstrong!” Pointed to the back of the room and disappeared from the stage. We are currently trying to track Vaughters down, but as of this morning he was not returning our phone calls.
We, at Cycling Phun, are also looking into a recent rumor of “Team Hardee’s”. The last rumor that we heard on them is that their official riding food is the Hardee’s Monster Burger, and Diet Lime Coke.
01 November 2007
Lance And Ashley Sitting In A Tree...
OK, so how could I possibly resist this one? Reports are out that Lance Armstrong was seen with Ashley Olsen on two occasions this past week (dare I say, "Way to go Lance!"), and that Olsen was seen sitting on Lance's lap being flirtatious. I have a couple of theories on this, and none of them good.
1) Lance got to watching Full House back in the day with his kids, and took a liking to the twins. Now too old to be adopted, he figured; hey, why not?
2) Obvious mid-life crisis.
3) With all of the weight requirements in cycling lately, Lance misunderstood "ride light". (did I just say that?)
Not to say that it necessarily matters, just pointing out the humor in Lance's dating someone 15 years his junior. Im not even posting a link about this one. If you really WANT to read more, just Google it. More tomorrow.
1) Lance got to watching Full House back in the day with his kids, and took a liking to the twins. Now too old to be adopted, he figured; hey, why not?
2) Obvious mid-life crisis.
3) With all of the weight requirements in cycling lately, Lance misunderstood "ride light". (did I just say that?)
Not to say that it necessarily matters, just pointing out the humor in Lance's dating someone 15 years his junior. Im not even posting a link about this one. If you really WANT to read more, just Google it. More tomorrow.
10 October 2007
The News: MoreOn Floyd Edition
Well, if you are currently living in a box let me bring you up to speed. Floyd Landis was found guilty of doping. So starts the saga. Today Floyd announced that he will file a final appeal of the ruling and on the stripping of his Tour de France title, and awarding it to Oscar Pereiro instead. Long and short of it is... he is putting everything on the line in order to prove that the allegations against him are way off. Landis still insists that he won the Tour fair and square and without doping, going so far as to point out that doping is worse now than ever and that the current system needs a rebuild from the ground up. Let me just add my two sense and say the WADA & USADA just blow, and you may remember they botched the first test. Landis fought the two initial tests (the T/E and the Carbon Isotope) on the account they were both flawed.
Apparently Landis may also be in trouble on account he raced in an August 11th mountain-bike race (you can find a photo, and stories all around this "Fat Cyclist" post) that was a sanctioned event, so they may push back his original suspension which was supposed to start January of 2007.
Apparently Landis may also be in trouble on account he raced in an August 11th mountain-bike race (you can find a photo, and stories all around this "Fat Cyclist" post) that was a sanctioned event, so they may push back his original suspension which was supposed to start January of 2007.
02 October 2007
New tour to come to the US in 2008
For those of you who have not yet heard, a new Grand Tour event will come to the US in 2008. PorkoVelo Enterprises, LLC just recently announce the RATUSALOT tour in 2008. For more information on this amazing race, visit the "bikeradar" website for more information. You can also find more information on the "Fat Cyclist" website. Check it out!
21 September 2007
The Fake News: Landis Edition
As you know by now, Floyd Landis was found guilty of doping yesterday. This, as it stands, will result in him losing his Tour de France title. The first time in the 105-year history of the Tour, if it is upheld and his final appeal is denied. For those of you who are still unaware of the strory, I have my theory.
I think he was just holding it for a friend. Then he accidentally put it in his mouth on account he had a turkey sandwich in one pocket, a can of Diet Coke® in another, and a banana in the third... all of which he did not want to taint.
So, there you have it folks! Landis should keep his Tour title since he clearly did not mean to dope. Just like the baseball players, they didn't mean to either.
(OK, So I guess I am being hard on Floyd here. There is the side that the USADA and WADA and everyone else involved has clearly dropped the ball over and over, so I guess I could be persuaded to believe that Landis did not, in fact, dope or dope intentionally anyway. But there are a couple of factors here. One is: with as hardcore as they headhunt for doping, why even get involved in it? For this reason I have a hard time believing Landis DID do it. Two is: The story is funnier if I post it as him accidentally doping while holding it for a friend... I'm just saying.)
I think he was just holding it for a friend. Then he accidentally put it in his mouth on account he had a turkey sandwich in one pocket, a can of Diet Coke® in another, and a banana in the third... all of which he did not want to taint.
So, there you have it folks! Landis should keep his Tour title since he clearly did not mean to dope. Just like the baseball players, they didn't mean to either.
(OK, So I guess I am being hard on Floyd here. There is the side that the USADA and WADA and everyone else involved has clearly dropped the ball over and over, so I guess I could be persuaded to believe that Landis did not, in fact, dope or dope intentionally anyway. But there are a couple of factors here. One is: with as hardcore as they headhunt for doping, why even get involved in it? For this reason I have a hard time believing Landis DID do it. Two is: The story is funnier if I post it as him accidentally doping while holding it for a friend... I'm just saying.)
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