Translations For The Cyclist

So I just wanted to touch base on something I said yesterday and segue into todays post. If you caught yesterdays blog you know I said: My wife "got me" a new bike for my birthday. The reason I took the time to put "got me" in quotation marks is this. My wife found out she got me a new bike when I said, "Hey, guess what. My birthday is coming up and I could get a sweet deal on a mountain bike." The rest of the conversation leading to the purchase of said bike isn't as important is this; what cyclist say to their spouse/significant other/etc. and what the meaning is are oft-different subjects. here are a few examples that come to mind. Generally, I've found, guys are notorious for this, but I have met a few like-minded women as well.

Cyclist Says: There's a great sale at the bike shop, and I'd really love a full carbon set up honey.
Cyclist Means: I already put money down on this too hard to pass up carbon bike.

Cyclist Says: So if I were to buy a SRAM Force Groupe for the bike would it be cool with you.
Cyclist Means: I have a SRAM Force Groupe in the trunk, if I take it out now will I suddenly go missing?

Cyclist Says: I look hot as hell in my new (insert team or manufacturer) kit, right?
Cyclist Means: I look hot as hell in my new (insert team or manufacturer) kit, right?
Answerer Says: Sure, I guess?
Answerer Means: Your wearing all lycra, it's cold, and that's SO not flattering.

Cyclist Says: You don't mind if I go on a long ride tomorrow, do you?
Cyclist Means: You don't mind if I all but fall off the Earth for about twelve or so hours tomorrow?
Answerer Says: I guess not.
Answerer Means: You don't mind if you don't get any for the next six months, do you? (NOTE-this could also mean: You don't mind if I take the charge to the mall to shop for clothes, a bag and shoes?)

Cyclist Says: The spouse and I are planning a ride, you in?
Cyclist Means: I am planning a ride, she/he could give a crap less, you in?

Mind you, these are only a handful of examples, there are countless more. So there you have it folks, next time your talking cycling with a non-cycling significant other, pay attention and see if I'm right!