Why Holidays Blow

I would just like to make the point that I LOVE holidays, for the most part. What, you ask, could I possibly have against holidays? As always, glad you asked.
You see, the main problem with holidays is that they're almost an excuse to overeat. I will start with my birthday. It was an excuse to go out and eat crap I know full well I should look at let alone ingest. Example: A half-pound burger the size of my head, chipotle mayo, pepper-jack cheese, a pablano pepper (arguably the healthiest part of the meal), tortilla strips, and steak fries with three twenty-four ounce beers. Yeah, I know... I have NO self control, it's why I'm a fatass. Enter Easter. My wife makes her world famous scalloped potatoes. Ingredients: Potatoes (duh), a gallon of whole milk, fourteen metric tons of butter, and an entire dairy farm of cheese. That's just the potatoes. Never mind the green bean casserole, sweet potato(e) (Dan Quayle joke... I know it dates me, but c'mon... the classics?) marshmallow casserole, turkey and stuffing, biscuits, bread pudding, etc. I swear I probably put on five pounds this weekend. I'm serious, no joke there. I'm actually afraid to weigh myself tomorrow morning.
Now I just have to hope it stays nice enough that we don't have the flooding rains we're supposed to get so I can get the new rig on a trail. If we do get what they're expecting there's no way the trails around here will drain. Guess we'll just have to cross our fingers, right.