11 October 2007

Ode to Diet Coke

I have to get this out of my system, it is a post based on a June 21st blog post on Random Reviewer: Review of Diet Coke. It got me to thinking about one of my first loves, Diet Coke®, but also made me feel like a bit of a punk. You see, I have a bit of a confession to make based on a very recent discovery. I have cheated; there, I said it. I have betrayed my sweet (but not too sweet) muse, Diet Coke.

Let me give you a bit of background on my love of Diet Coke. I’ve always liked it, well most of the Diet Coke family anyway. I’ve always thought it was the right mix of “Coke but not too sweet”, and not as “burn a hole in your stomach acidy” as Diet Pepsi. Sure, some of the flavors tasted like someone pissed in a batch, but everyone has a bad day (see: DC Vanilla, DC SPLENDA, DC Lemon, and what the hell was DC Plus! Vitamins… in cola? Really? Isn’t that like pink fuzzy dice on the rearview mirror of a Porsche Boxter? It just doesn’t belong. Also, Caffeine Free; Taste is fine but if I didn’t want caffeine free I’d simply skip the DC… and coffee, but that’s for another day. The aforementioned flavors are like trying your luck at a cycling race with a broken leg; you might be able to do it, but you're still a schmuck for trying.) Diet Coke was great. Diet Coke with Lime, do I need to explain why this was the perfect combination of flavor? The only way to make Diet with Lime better is a heaping helping of Jack; I digress. Final example, DC Cherry=Great, Vanilla=piss, Cherry & Vanilla=Divinity! Again, only thing to make it better is Jack (side note: I may need to re-think my alcohol intake, but not now). OK, onto my betrayal.

It started as a one-night stand. There she was, Diet Pepsi Max®, and on a very special “Newly Released Promotional Price!” Hey, I’ve go bills to pay, not to mention expensive hobbies to keep up with. I’ll let you sucker me in once to save some dough. That, my friends, is where I made my mistake. I can’t figure out exactly what the crack like addictive quality of Diet Pepsi Max is, but it is truly a new favorite for me. Is there room in the relationship, er, fridge for both? I just hope that I haven’t broken my true loves heart.

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